Monthly Archives: March 2007

Sent by: Jolene Worthington

Tom and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in PITTSBURGH.

One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.

Tom said, “Man, I wish we had something to drink!”

Jim says, “Me too. Y’know, I’ve heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?”

So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hootch and got completely smashed.

The next morning Tom wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. in fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!

Then the phone rings. It’s Jim.

Jim says, “Hey, how do you feel this morning?”

Tom says, “I feel great. How about you?”

Jim says, “I feel great, too. You don’t have a hangover?”

Tom says, “No that jet fuel is great stuff — no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often.”

“Yeah, well there’s just one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Have you farted yet?”

“No. ” “Well, DON’T, ’cause I’m in DENVER!”

Submitted by: He who wishes to remain anonymous

Leeza Bitterman’s Male-Bashing Q & A

Q. How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
A. Make him wear shoes!

Q. How do men define a “50/50” relationship?
A. We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

Q. How do men exercise on the beach?
A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini!

Q. How are husbands like lawn mowers?
A. They’re hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don’t work.

Q. How can you tell when a man is well hung?
A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Q. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A. Rename the Inbox folder “Instruction Manuals.”

Q. How does a man show he’s planning for the future?
A. He buys TWO cases of beer instead of one!

Q. How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
A. All he’s concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs!

Q. What do you instantly know about a well-dressed married man?
A. His wife is good at picking out clothes.

Q. What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
A. Any place without a drive-up window.

Q. What do you call a man handcuffed to your bed?
A. Trustworthy.

Sent by: Taffee Eager

Check out what this 3 year old says when asked about monsters – priceless!

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Download Kassie – 3 Year Old and Monsters

Sent by: Lindsey Welker

Check out this beautiful car… mmmm Bugatti!!! The fastest street legal production car in the world!

  • 253 MPH
  • 10 Radiators
  • 16 Cylinders
  • 4 Turbo Chargers
  • 1001 Horsepower!!!
  • By the way, my birthday is August 30 and you can ship it directly to my home in Utah!

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Sent by: He who wishes to remain anonymous

Check out how an angry engineer delt with Verizon.

Angry Engineer