Monthly Archives: May 2008

Submitted by: Lindsey Welker

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As Seen on Josh Tatton’s youdidnotjustsaythat.com

Bear Crap Woods?

As Seen on Josh Tatton’s youdidnotjustsaythat.com

I remember the time that Catherine, one of my daughter Shannon’s friends when she was little, told me that she wanted to be President one day. Both of her parents are liberal Democrats and were standing there with us – and I asked Catherine, ‘If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?’

Catherine replied, ‘I would give houses to all the homeless people.’

‘Wow, what a worthy goal you have there, Catherine.’ I told her, ‘You don’t have to wait until you are President to do that, you can come over to my house and clean up all the dog poop in the back yard and I will pay you $5. Then we can go over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $5 to use for a new house.’

Catherine, who was about 4, thought that over for a second, while her mom looked at me, and Catherine replied, ‘Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and clean up the dog poop and you can pay him the $5.’

Welcome to the Republican Party, Catherine

As Seen on Josh Tatton’s youdidnotjustsaythat.com

Enough Said!

As Seen on Josh Tatton�s youdidnotjustsaythat.com

As Seen on Josh Tatton’s youdidnotjustsaythat.com

After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

“We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances.

Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair . . . Kill her!!” The man said, “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.” The agent said, “Then you’re not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.”

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent said, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”

Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. “This gun is loaded with blanks” she said. “I had to beat him to death with the chair.”

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