Submitted by: He who wishes to remain anonymous
Rammynote: If you don’t follow college football this may not mean anything to you. If you do it totally makes sense give the junk this year!
After determining another year of championship game participants, the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.
“Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work–including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule–our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking.”
Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated “The US only had two major victories–Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren’t influenced by head-to-head contests–they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event.”
German Chancellor Adolph Hitler said “Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks.” Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn ‘style points’ to enhance Germany’s rankings. Hitler protested “Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces.”
The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented ” France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2.”
Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.
Submitted by: He who wishes to remain anonymous
The person that figures this technology out will become the second richest person in the world. The first will be the wife who gets 60% in the divorce settlement!
You can actually buy this novelty remote on Amazon.com. Click here to view it.
Submitted by: Liz Orth
Once upon a time a man appeared in a village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.
The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.
He next announced that he would now buy monkeys at $20 each. This renewed the efforts of the villager sand they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so scarce it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 each! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would buy on his behalf.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: ‘Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has already collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.’
The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys for 700 billion dollars. They never saw the man or his assistant again, only lots and lots of monkeys!
Now you have a better understanding of how the WALL STREET BAILOUT PLAN WILL WORK!!!!
Submitted by: Kirk Chester
Rammynote: Not a funny but if you live in SLC this may be of interest to you. Thanks!
This is the home my good friends Kirk and Kristy Chester own and are now going to start renting. It is a great place that they did a lot of upgrades on. They bought a new beautiful home in Mill Creek.
Custom home in the avenues with all of the upgrades. Solid surface counters, new gas fireplace, hardwood floors, two-tone paint and elegant lighting are some of the upgrades that this home has. With 4 bedrooms and 3 full bathrooms this house can handle the needs of most anyone. A completely remodeled basement (not your average avenues dungeon) features a full laundry, a full bathroom and lots of storage.
The water bill is paid and it has an automatic sprinkler system so you don’t have to water the yard. It has a fully fenced back yard with 2 private patios that feature a water fountain, and lighting for those evening dinners in the summer.
You can contact Kirk at KirkChester@msn.com or call him at (801) 860-5006. Check the flyer below for more information and pictures.