1. Bring a chair along.
  2. Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on; ask if they have an appointment.
  3. Gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
  4. Hold the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, “Hi Greg. How’s your day been?”
  5. When the doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay. Don’t panic, they open up again.”
  6. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
  7. Lean against the button panel.
  8. When the elevator begins to movie, ask, “Did you feel that?”
  9. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, “Is that your beeper?”
  10. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
  11. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
  12. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
  13. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: “Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!”
  14. When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you.
  15. Say “Ding” at each floor.
  16. Open your briefcase of purse a crack and while peering inside, ask, “Got enough air in there?
  17. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering “Shut up, all of you, just shut up!”
  18. Announce in a demonic voice, “I must find a more suitable host body.”
  19. Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce in horror, “You’re one of THEM” and back away slowly.
  20. Meow occasionally.
  21. Swat at flies that don’t exist.
  22. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, “This is my personal space.”
  23. Stare, grinning at another passenger for awhile, and then announce, “I have new socks on.”
  24. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
  25. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler “Bad touch!”
  26. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
  27. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
  28. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
  29. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
  30. Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they’d like to play.
  31. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
  32. Tell people that you can see their aura.
  33. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
  34. Start a sing-along.
  35. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
  36. Frown and mutter “gotta go, gotta go” then sigh and say “oops!”
  37. One word: Flatulence!
  38. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
  39. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
  40. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
  41. As you leave the elevator, call out, “group hug!” and then enforce it.

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