Political

Submitted by: Deena Rammelsberg

Rammynote: This is the rare political posting but I think it makes a good point.

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college.  Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be very liberal, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative, a  feeling she openly expressed.  Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on  the rich and the need for more government programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father.  He responded by asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time  to go out and party like other people she knew.  She didn’t even have time  for a boyfriend, and didn’t really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, “How is your friend Audrey doing?” She replied, “Audrey is barely getting by.  All she takes are easy classes,  she never studies and she barely has a 2.0 GPA.  She is so popular on  campus; college for her is a blast.  She’s always invited to all the  parties  and lots of times she doesn’t even show up for classes because she’s too  hung over”

Her wise father asked his daughter, “Why don’t you go to the Dean’s office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0.  That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.”

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father’s suggestion, angrily fired  back, “That’s a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I’ve worked really hard  for my grades!  I’ve invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey  has done next to nothing toward her degree.  She played while I worked my  tail off!”

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, “Welcome to the conservative side of the fence.”

If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!

If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.
If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for  it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.

A liberal will delete it because he’s “offended.”

*Well, I forwarded it to you.*

Submitted by: Liz Orth
Rammynote: I did a google search and found the obituary on the Rome newspaper website as well as DignityMemorial.com

Submitted by: Courtney Thomas

Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Idaho is planning to do its own titled ‘Survivor -Idaho Style.’

The contestants will start in Boise , travel over to Twin Falls and Idaho Falls.
Then, they will head northwest to Salmon then over to Lewiston.
From there they will proceed North to Moscow.
The final leg will be back to Boise!

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with California license plates and a HUGE bumper sticker that reads: 
‘I’m gay.  I’m a vegetarian. Beer is harmful to your health. Republicans suck. Obama is God. Deer hunting is murder,… and I’m here to confiscate your guns.’

The first one that makes it back to Boise alive wins.

Submitted by: He who wishes to remain anonymous





Submitted by: Rob Barlow

At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.

While the IRS agent was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, “I notice you buy a lot of bandages.
What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little left to be of any use?

“Good question,” noted the CFO. “We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages.

“Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way.
“What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what’s left over after setting a cast on a patient?”

“Ah, yes,” replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question.
“We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster.

“I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO. “Well,” he went on, “What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?

“Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the CFO. “What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick.”

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