Jolene Worthington

Submitted by: Jolene Worthington

To All My Precision Speakers Friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or explicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

Sent by: Jolene Worthington

Tom and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in PITTSBURGH.

One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.

Tom said, “Man, I wish we had something to drink!”

Jim says, “Me too. Y’know, I’ve heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?”

So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hootch and got completely smashed.

The next morning Tom wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. in fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!

Then the phone rings. It’s Jim.

Jim says, “Hey, how do you feel this morning?”

Tom says, “I feel great. How about you?”

Jim says, “I feel great, too. You don’t have a hangover?”

Tom says, “No that jet fuel is great stuff — no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often.”

“Yeah, well there’s just one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Have you farted yet?”

“No. ” “Well, DON’T, ’cause I’m in DENVER!”

Sent by: Jolene Worthington

Man of the Year Candidate Man of the Year Candidate 2 Man of the Year Candidate 3

Click each image to see the full size version.

Check out these quality individuals. Glad they have their priorities straight.