Kirk Chester

Submitted by: Kirk Chester and Aundrea Rammelsberg

What does one TRILLION dollars look like?

All this talk about “stimulus packages” and “bailouts”…

A billion dollars…

A hundred billion dollars…

Eight hundred billion dollars…

One TRILLION dollars…

What does that look like? I mean, these numbers are tossed around like doggie treats, so here is a little something to help you get a sense of what exactly a trillion dollars looks like.

We’ll start with a $100 dollar bill. Currently the largest U.S. denomination in general circulation. Most everyone has seen them, slightly fewer have owned them. Guaranteed to make friends wherever they go.

hundred

A packet of one hundred $100 bills is less than 1/2″ thick and contains $10,000. Fits in your pocket easily.

10thousand

Believe it or not, this next little pile is $1 million dollars (100 packets of $10,000). You could stuff that into a briefcase and carry it around comfortably.

1million

While a measly $1 million looked a little unimpressive, $100 million is a little more respectable. It fits neatly on a standard pallet…

100million

And $1 BILLION dollars… now we’re really getting somewhere…

billion

Next we’ll look at ONE TRILLION dollars. This is that number we’ve been hearing about so much. What is a trillion dollars? Well, it’s a million million. It’s a thousand billion. It’s a one followed by 12 zeros. that’s this many 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.

You ready for this?

It’s pretty surprising.

And Now Ladies and gentlemen… I give you $1 trillion dollars

trillion

(And notice those pallets are double stacked.)

So the next time you hear someone toss around the phrase “trillion dollars”… that’s what they’re talking about.

Submitted by: Kirk Chester

A new sign in a Bank Lobby reads:

‘Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.  After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.’

MALE PROCEDURE:

  1. Drive up to the cash machine.
  2. Put down your car window.
  3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
  4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
  5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
  6. Put window up.
  7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:
What is really funny is that most of this part is the truth!

  1. Drive up to cash machine.
  2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
  3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
  4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
  5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
  6. Attempt to insert card into machine..
  7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
  8. Insert card.
  9. Re-insert card the right way.
  10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
  11. Enter PIN.
  12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
  13. Enter amount of cash required.
  14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
  15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
  16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
  17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
  18. Re-check makeup.
  19. Drive forward 2 feet.
  20. Reverse back to cash machine.
  21. Retrieve card.
  22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
  23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
  24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
  25. Redial person on cell phone.
  26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
  27. Release Parking Brake.

Submitted by: Kirk Chester

Rammynote:  Not a funny but if you live in SLC this may be of interest to you.  Thanks!

This is the home my good friends Kirk and Kristy Chester own and are now going to start renting.  It is a great place that they did a lot of upgrades on.  They bought a new beautiful home in Mill Creek.

Custom home in the avenues with all of the upgrades. Solid surface counters, new gas fireplace, hardwood floors, two-tone paint and elegant lighting are some of the upgrades that this home has. With 4 bedrooms and 3 full bathrooms this house can handle the needs of most anyone. A completely remodeled basement (not your average avenues dungeon) features a full laundry, a full bathroom and lots of storage.

The water bill is paid and it has an automatic sprinkler system so you don’t have to water the yard. It has a fully fenced back yard with 2 private patios that feature a water fountain, and lighting for those evening dinners in the summer.

You can contact Kirk at KirkChester@msn.com or call him at (801) 860-5006.  Check the flyer below for more information and pictures.

Click Here to Download the Flyer

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