American Skier Has Gold Medal Revoked!
March 5, 2010 on 4:01 pm | In Cesar Osborn, Pictures, Political, Submitters | No Comments
(No Ratings Yet)
Loading ...Submitted by: Cesar Osborn
That’s a Lot of Scratch!
May 7, 2009 on 4:08 pm | In Aundrea Rammelsberg, Kirk Chester, Pictures, Political | No Comments
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5) Loading ...Submitted by: Kirk Chester and Aundrea Rammelsberg
What does one TRILLION dollars look like?
All this talk about “stimulus packages” and “bailouts”…
A billion dollars…
A hundred billion dollars…
Eight hundred billion dollars…
One TRILLION dollars…
What does that look like? I mean, these numbers are tossed around like doggie treats, so here is a little something to help you get a sense of what exactly a trillion dollars looks like.
We’ll start with a $100 dollar bill. Currently the largest U.S. denomination in general circulation. Most everyone has seen them, slightly fewer have owned them. Guaranteed to make friends wherever they go.
A packet of one hundred $100 bills is less than 1/2″ thick and contains $10,000. Fits in your pocket easily.
Believe it or not, this next little pile is $1 million dollars (100 packets of $10,000). You could stuff that into a briefcase and carry it around comfortably.
While a measly $1 million looked a little unimpressive, $100 million is a little more respectable. It fits neatly on a standard pallet…
And $1 BILLION dollars… now we’re really getting somewhere…
Next we’ll look at ONE TRILLION dollars. This is that number we’ve been hearing about so much. What is a trillion dollars? Well, it’s a million million. It’s a thousand billion. It’s a one followed by 12 zeros. that’s this many 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.
You ready for this?
It’s pretty surprising.
And Now Ladies and gentlemen… I give you $1 trillion dollars…
(And notice those pallets are double stacked.)
So the next time you hear someone toss around the phrase “trillion dollars”… that’s what they’re talking about.
How the Bailout Might Work?
January 9, 2009 on 10:12 pm | In Liz Orth, Political | No Comments (No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Submitted by: Liz Orth
Once upon a time a man appeared in a village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.
The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.
He next announced that he would now buy monkeys at $20 each. This renewed the efforts of the villager sand they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so scarce it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 each! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would buy on his behalf.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: ‘Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has already collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.’
The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys for 700 billion dollars. They never saw the man or his assistant again, only lots and lots of monkeys!
Now you have a better understanding of how the WALL STREET BAILOUT PLAN WILL WORK!!!!
Marine Pilot – “Send em up!”
December 4, 2008 on 4:20 pm | In Funny Stories / Jokes, Military, Pictures, Political, Rated PG, Scott Cowan, Stupid People, Travel, Urban Legends | No Comments (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5) Loading ...Submitted by: Scott Cowan
Rammy note: True or not, entertaining story.
Send ‘em up!
Sent by a Marine Pilot
In addition to communicating with the local air traffic control facility, aircraft are required to give the Iranian Air Defense Radar (military) a ten minute ‘heads up’ that they will be transiting Iranian airspace. This is a common procedure for commercial aircraft and involves giving them your call sign, transponder code, type aircraft, and points of origin and destination.
I just flew with a guy who overheard this conversation on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe to Dubai . It’s too good not to pass along. The conversation went something like this…
Air Defense Radar: ‘Unknown aircraft at (location unknown), you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.’
Aircraft: ‘This is a United States aircraft.. I am in Iraqi airspace.’
Air Defense Radar: ‘You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace we will launch interceptor aircraft!’
Aircraft: ‘This is a United States FA-18 fighter. Send ‘em up!’
Air Defense Radar: (no response … total silence)
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New Answers To An Old Question
November 18, 2008 on 12:31 am | In Funny Stories / Jokes, Political, Scott Cowan | No Comments (No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Submitted by: Scott Cowan
Rammynote: This has been beaten to death, but in case you haven’t see this yet there are a couple to make you chuckle.
New Political Version of “Why the Chicken Crossed the Road”
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where’s my shotgun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth? That’s why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that intewesting? In a few moments, we wiwl be listening to the chicken tell, for the fiwst time, the hotwarming stowy of how it expewienced a sewious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dweam of cwossing the woad.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all… the chickens… in the world crossing roads… together, in peace.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: What?, Did I miss one?
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